Lovephase: Silent Love

“So…what do you think?”

I rest my chin on my clasped hands, my arms resting atop the small table. I look at the person sitting in front of me. It’s a cold Saturday; rain is falling from the dark sky. We are inside a small café. An instrumental piano piece is playing inside and the smell of coffee beans lingers in the air. His hands are encircled at a small cup of coffee in front of him, and his gaze, intended only for me, seems to peer through my thoughts. With that kind of gaze, I don’t think I can look away.

“Does my advice really matter?” I ask him, my voice weary. I try to mask the sadness but it’s of no use-my voice drips of sorrow. I don’t know why he hasn’t noticed it yet.

He frowns as he hears my reply. With an irritated edge in his voice, he remarks,

“No, it doesn’t matter. You’re just my best friend, after all.”

I can hear the sarcasm in his voice. I smirk at this, and he rolls his eyes with a smile of his own.

Well, of course my advice matters. I’m just his best friend, after all.

Of course.

Whenever he tells me this in his easy voice and joking manner, I feel a strong pain in my chest. I know I should be happy to be considered his best friend, but I really can’t help it.

Whenever I hear the fact that I’m his best friend, I can’t help but feel sad.

I look at him for a moment and slowly avert my eyes to the glass windows of the coffee shop. Raindrops cling hard onto the glass panes but soon they fall down, father and father away from where they were only a few moments before. The thought saddens me even more.

I heave a sigh and look back at him. He still gazes at me, and in his eyes I see that he’s expecting, waiting for an answer.

Being his best friend will never be enough for me, I’ve come to accept that a long time ago. But I’ve known for a much longer time that being his best friend…is all I’m ever gonna be.

I take a sip from my own cup of coffee. I place it back down onto its saucer and look at him. I smile.

I’m fine with being his best friend. I’m fine. Really. Just fine.

I gulp and smile before I tell him, “Go ask her out.”


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